My Journey...

my favorite holiday(s)

2008-09-09T13:24:00.002+08:00

what is yours? mine is Christmas and New Year.

New year coz a new beginning. Another year of battle. Another year of challenge.

Christmas... my most favorite because I like the idea of giving... sharing. The kids and the family more closer on this occassion.

I wished it's Christmas everyday. :)

Ever experienced it?

2008-05-14T11:46:00.004+08:00

that even everything seems normal, you will stop and analyze things... sometimes... doubt some.

I need a hug. :(

Alas!

2007-04-17T09:59:00.000+08:00

I'm done with the ITRs. Done with the 2006 reports. Already submitted to our owner. Perhaps, a few revisions.

Finally, I can proceed to the present transactions. And maybe, i can devoute more time to myself and fam and friends. :)

blah

2007-04-13T01:05:00.000+08:00

i have a lot of thoughts running in my mind.

sometimes i want to tell someone about it. but then i thought i rather write them. and then again, i will end up keeping it to myself.

been like this for a long time. who needs to listen to me? and besides, i feel like i want to remain as i am... up to you to know me. let me be... unknown... a mystery.

Some Good Advice

2007-03-02T21:35:00.000+08:00

Let me start w/ this quote:

"A good thing about FRIENDSHIP is to know whom to confide a secret."

Here are the advices:

Give people more than they expect.
When you say, "I love you", mean it.
When you say, "I am sorry", look into the eyes of that person.
Do not ever make fun of other people's dreams, love deeply and with passion. You may get hurt, but it is the only way to live your life to the full.
Do not offend and judge other people according to how their relatives behave.
Speak slowly, but think quickly.
If someone ask you a question that you do not want to answer, smile and asks him why do you want to know.
Remember that the greatest love and the greatest success involve the greatest risks.
When you loose, do not miss the lesson.
Remember the 3 Rs

Respect yourself.
Respect others.
Responsibility for all your actions.

11. Do not let a small misunderstanding ruin a great friendship. When you realized you made a mistake, correct it immediately.
12. Smile when you answer the phone, who calls will be able to hear it on your voice.
13. Read between the lines.
14. Remember that sometimes, not getting what you want maybe quiet fortunate.

Wow!

2007-02-16T20:45:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since i made a post here.

Well, thanks to Ryan, I remember to post my thought. :P

Nothing really special. I just realized that how time flies. It's Ryan's birthday again on the 22nd. I had the chance to look at him from head to foot. Just a few years from now and he'll be taller than me.

It seems like it was just yesterday. I was babysitting Ryan. Singing him lullabyes to make him fall asleep... changing his diapers... preparing his milk.

Now, he will be 8. He barely drink milk. He rarely takes a nap and prefers to play in the afternoon. We rarely have time together. I knew he misses me just as I miss him.

What I can only do now is kiss him goodbye in the morning before I go to work. *sigh* My baby nephew. I was looking at his pics when he was one year old. Those days brings back smiles to my face.

I hope to make it up to him. Hope I can find time for us to bond again.

One of my fave songs

2006-10-26T19:44:00.000+08:00

It's an all time fave song of mine. :)

Sing me your song again

Sing me your song again, Daddy
Sing me a happy verse.
Teach me those clever lines you sang
As you carried me on your shoulders.
Sing me that hymn that you so loudly
Sang in church with mom.
Sing it again to me and fill me
With all your words of wisdom.

Comforting words of love when I
Would get home from school in tears.
Somehow your songs have stayed within me
Down through all the years.
Once when my younger heart was broken
Your shoulder was there to cry on.
Sing me those songs I know will linger
Long after you have gone.

I am standing at the threshold
Of a chapter in my life
I am asking for your blessing
As I'm about to be the wife
Of a man I know who loves me
And I'm proud to be his bride.
Dad the time has come for me to leave your side.

So, sing me a song again, Daddy.
Sing me a lullaby.
Wrap me inside your arms, Daddy,
'Though this is not goodbye.
Your songs will live forever
In my heart. When times get rough
The ones I'll most remember
Are your songs of love.

JOSE:

Your songs will live forever
In my heart. When times get rough

CHERI:

The ones I'll most remember
Are your songs of love.

pissed!

2006-10-25T17:35:00.000+08:00

I don't like myself sometimes. I want to be a rebel again. I like to cry! I so hate it! I hate it!

TGIF!

2006-08-18T09:32:00.000+08:00

so, it is Friday here. Last day of work for the week. I'm looking forward for a long weekend. No office on Monday, it's declared special holiday. I might be in Manila again to look for a new place.

Many stuff rock my socks. Studying. Light atmosphere in the office. I might get Myra to work w/ me again.

There are some lil probs in the fam but it won't ruin the positive energy i'm feeling. Actually not really a prob but I just wished to see my fam doing good. They are a part of me and even if I have my own family, I will still look over them. My fam is one top reason I am where I am right now. And i'll do everything for them.

happy

2006-08-17T10:31:00.000+08:00

so, it is Myra's interview today. I was told she's considered for the position. Yehey! (One more prayer from you guys) She will be under my supervision but it's a different brand.

another thing that made me happy, I already got the book I was looking. And it's a signal i should get serious w/ that matter.

and last but not the least, I talked to my sexy bf. hahaha. His voice is music to my ears. Isn't it great to wake up in the morning to see your love's messages on your phone? hahaha. so mushy today... bear with me. :-P

later guys... mmmwah!

feel better

2006-08-15T15:52:00.000+08:00

I feel better now. Just a little cough. I am okay but not my Dad. My fever transferred to him :-(

Just now, our Audit Manager asked me to contact Myra for an interview. Help me pray that Myra will get the slot. I wanted to work with her again. And I miss the lady even though we txt each other from time to time.

I just finished another work moving on to a new one. I really need an assistant now to do the nitty gritty of the work.

Have a good week everyone. Be safe always. Mmmmwah!

Monday

2006-08-14T11:16:00.000+08:00

hmmm... Boring Monday...

Seems like everything's slow. i don't like the feeling. I want it to be a fast phase, for me to not be able to think of something. I am not that fully well but I wanted to run. Do this, do that.

I hate that it's silent now in here. I hate it. I hate it.

my ultimate dream

2006-08-13T17:14:00.000+08:00

Most of u may probably know my ultimate dream. I want to believe I'm on the right track.

For my career, I'm doing pretty good though sometimes I get frustrated I think I'm slow in achieving what I want. But yep, sorry Jesus, I know I should be thankful. I am thankful so please forgive me. Mmmwah! U know I love you.

But my career is just a part of my dream. I want to have a stable one where I can support my ultimate dream. Yep, to have a WONDERFUL FAMILY of my own. For me, the most rewarding job is to be a good mother and wife.

I remember what my bestfriend told me, she was so afraid specially all the first time that she'll do stuff to her baby. Like changing diapers, taking a bath, feeding milk, etc. She wanted to cry and she's sooo afraid she might hurt her baby. For a while, I paused and thought how will I be. Of course, I did some of that with Ryan. But it's really different if he/she's from your womb. I was kinda scared for a moment but I got excited too of the thought.

Then, to be a wife. I am always hoping to have a partner who's responsible and confident of himself. Not to be intimidated of my so-called achievements that for me is nothing or don't exist.

I am a strong and independent woman but I also want to be taken care of by my man. In office, I am the boss. I give commands, i look for my subordinates. But at home, I want to be the one controlled. Not the "submissive" type you know but I just want my future hubby to be the MAN of the family.

How am i dedicated to work, I am like that to my relationships... to my family, to my friends and to my love. I don't really talk that much. I may talk a lot sometimes but there's more that you don't know of me.

My heart is not that elusive. You should know what buttons to push.

P.S.

2006-08-11T10:24:00.000+08:00

So, my plan to treat my family this Sat was postponed. My sister can't absent from work, my Dad has a seminar. Perhaps, next week and we will tag Ryan and Tan- Tan.

08/11/06

2006-08-11T09:46:00.000+08:00

so, I went to the bookstore last night but they don't have the book i was looking for so probably i will make a trip this weekend to Alabang. I ended up buying finally my copy of the Da Vinci Code and Unbearable Lightness of Being byt Milan Kundera.

This morning,as I walked towards our office, a freak overtook me and said, "You smell good." WTF! I don't even wear a perfume today! What is happening to the world???

It kinda creepy this past few days.

Btw, i have a fever since last night but I can't just absent to work. have a lot of things to do.

My element

2006-08-10T14:18:00.000+08:00

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world.
And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly.

Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life.
You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful.

You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person.
With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's Your Element?

Yay!

2006-08-03T11:44:00.000+08:00

So, yeah, I am still working out to get what I want. To not get insane, it's a good thing I got contacts with my friends.

Today, I received an invite from Gemma to dine out along with some other friends. I accepted. I need a break from time to time. I am avoiding to spend a lot of time in front of the computer.

What I rejected was an invite for a blind date. First and foremost, I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP. Whatever is going on w/ the relationship, it's a DEFINITE NO.

Another is I haven't into blind dating. I think I'm scared of blind dates. I have to know the person first before I agree to go out w/ him.

I think those sum it up why Blind Date is a no no to me.

Ryan brightened my day

2006-08-01T10:26:00.000+08:00

Today, before I went to work, Arni told me a story about Ryan. They were required at school to submit a plastic envelope and he told his older brother that they should request to buy 3 instead of 2 envelopes. He reasoned that maybe his older bro needed it too eventhough Ron-Ron insisted he didn't need the envelope bcoz he got one already.

I'm glad at how Ryan grows. He grows as a thoughtful and caring boy. He's shy and sweet. Whenever we're out together and whether i will buy him toys or food, he never failed to remember his siblings. I have to buy for 3 kids not one. He always wanted that if he has something new, his brothers have one too.

My Dad told me that I am spoiling him a lot but I don't think I am. Bcoz when I say to Ryan that No, we can't buy that. He understood. Sometimes, he is giving me his own money and said that I should add it to our food or his help for our fare.

He has grown so fast. Looking back, it seems it was just yesterday I held him on my arms while singing a lullabye. Sigh

blah!

2006-07-31T15:27:00.000+08:00

the world doesn't care if your heart is bleeding. you have to continue to fake a happy face even if deep inside you know that you are dying.

Have You Been a Mistress???

2006-07-25T15:44:00.000+08:00

I'm not, of course!!!

But have you come close to that idea? have you thought about that?

I'm not giving reason that it's right to be a mistress but all I'm saying is not all other woman are same. There are reason's why it happened, why were they in that situation.

I was once tested on that situation and yes, you got to be strong in your beliefs. It was scary. But it's all up to you girls to give the married guys the green light. After that, i've been more openminded about that issue.

It seems simple, be firm on your beliefs but I am saying too that there is no rule saing it is wrong to fall in love. I am referring REAL LOVE here not LUST.

Have you given it a thought?

2006-07-20T21:43:00.000+08:00

That when u reached a certain age and you haven't found Mr. Right, you will just settle to have a child and not marry at all. That you will just look for a willing donor. Lol! I know not funny but i thought it before.

I told you! I'm weird! :-P

Greg will gonna spank me with this. Sorry, bee. :-P

But really, I thought about it. Like, i was, "I will just get pregnant and raise my child and give him/her my all. Who needs a man?!"

I'm not a man-hater. I haven't just met the "MAN"... at that time.

i feel blah

2006-07-18T19:54:00.000+08:00

just am...

and i'm thinking perhaps i should love myself sometimes...

my day

2006-07-13T22:11:00.000+08:00

so, it was raining so hard since dawn of Wednesday but I still have to go to work. You all knew my traveling time to work. 1 1/2 - 2 hrs. I can't take a leave even if there's a storm, I have a deadline to beat. It rained so hard til night and i decided to work overnight. I was worried i'll be stucked in traffic.

So, I txt my sister and my Dad to inform them I won't go home. I worked til 5 am, had a 2 hrs. sleep. Took breakfast then in a bit, i worked again.

I had lunch at 2 pm. I don't want to eat bcoz it seems that I'm still full but I felt my head ached so I decided to take some. Though i have a lot of things to do, it was all okay because the atmosphere at the office was light.

At 4 pm, I received an unexpected call from my bestfriend Lot whom I haven't spoke for quiet some time. We just exchanged messages from time to time. Even if it was forbidden, I talked to her while working since it looked like it was okay w/ my boss.

But I had to cut it off because of my staff who was crying because she was talking tru phone w/ her Dad in Australia who was apparently ill. It was tough. I am trying to support her bcoz it's a sensitive situation. She's older than me by 7 or 8 years but within the time that I'm in the company, I found a family in my new company. I know I found a friend in them.

Sometimes, I am shy of how they treated me special. I knew I'm the boss but i still want to be treated as equal. In work, I don't want to be called ma'am. I prefer to be called "Ms. Mai"

Well, even if my job is so stressful, it puts a smile on my face to know that they like me, and my managing skills. I am just in my sophomore year as a Manager. I know I still have a long road to take. But it's good that I'm learning... not only from my superior but also from my subordinates.

A paycheck with legs

2006-07-03T23:07:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, me and my dad had a little misunderstanding.

Sometimes, I can't helped but cry when it seems like my family's forgetting what i'm doing for them. Sometimes I can't helped but asked why are people become forgetful.

hmmm... No, my family's still the best for me. My Dad and I as usual didn't talked about it. But he knew I was hurt. I didn't care if he heard me cried. I told him what I thought.

It will still not change. I will continue to support my family even if they don't ask.

It's time!

2006-07-03T09:35:00.000+08:00

for me to share my thoughts again. This time... open up a little bit more.

Just like what I've told before, It's my own opinion. Perhaps, we all know what RESPECT is.

taking too much pride of myself

2006-06-29T17:46:00.000+08:00

i am sometimes guilty of that... specially when somebody's questioning my capability. i just don't like to be stomped on by a prententious bastard.

If you can prove to me you know what you are talking and not just pretending a know-it-all man, you have my respect. Otherwise, get real!!!

Ranting

2006-06-28T21:01:00.000+08:00

Since last week, i think the lack of sleep is taking effect on me. It's evident on how big my eyebags are. I sometimes didn't made it to bed. One time, I fell asleep on a sitting position. I hardly see Ryan. It's been 2 consecutive weeks that I have no rest day. Some friends say I should find another job.

Honestly, right now, I'm starting to enjoy my new job. It's like a family to me now. I thought i will feel left out since they all came from one company except me but really, I don't feel like i don't belong there. Even if most of them were far older than me. I will surely be sad if I will leave the company. But it won't gonna happen for now.

I apologized to my friends if I can't watch "Superman" with you. It was already set up since January. Me, Ryan and his siblings are going to watch it. I know you understand.

Being Twenty-Something

2006-06-15T21:49:00.000+08:00

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you
stop going along with the crowd and start realizing
that there are many things about yourself that you
didn't know and may not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will
be in a year or two, but then get scared because you
barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were so
close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have
ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are
some of the most important ones. What you don't
recognize is that they are realizing that too, and
aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that
they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to
what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are
looking for a job and realizing that you are going to
have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what
others are doing and find yourself judging more than
usual because suddenly you realize that you have
certain boundaries in your life and are constantly
adding things to your list of what is acceptable and
what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the
next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your
life. You feel alone and scared and confused.
Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on
to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the
past is
drifting further and further away, and there is
nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you
loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed
and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough
that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love
someone but love someone else too and cannot figure
out why you are doing this because you know that you
aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook
ups start to look cheap.

Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look
pathetic. You go through the same emotions and
questions over and over, and talk with your friends
about the same topics because you cannot seem to
make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a
life for yourself... and while winning the race would
be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this
relates to it.

We are in our best of times and our worst of times,
trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing
out.

sick

2006-05-09T21:22:00.000+08:00

i've been feeling sick this past few days... don't know... is it the weather? i am always thirsty. I need to have water with me all the time.

other than that... i feel like "I don't care!"

Misconceptions

2006-04-22T12:26:00.000+08:00

Most of the time, I was surprised of how people find me. Often than not, they will say they thought i'm a snob and i will not greet them if ever i'm in the same crowd. I must admit I intentionally intimidate some. Hehe... defense mechanism. But often than not I am the one who will first greet. I only don't when after a couple of meetings and i greet first,that person still chose to ignore me. What's up with that huh?!

Another thing, sometimes officemates tell me to smile. According to them, I looked serious working. Uhmmm, i don't know but maybe I am just too glued with what i'm doing. And i am really serious specially when i have deadlines to meet. And besides, doesn't it make me look crazy smiling w/ no reason at all??? hahaha.

And another misconception is i'm rich. Hellooooooo???? Do i look like one? Can't help to chuckle when people say, "So, u have lots of money now?" Hahaha... How i wished?!

hey

2006-04-04T00:25:00.000+08:00

I'm back. I will revive my page. Hope to hear from u guys. Love u mwah!

Hey!

2006-03-19T20:54:00.000+08:00

Hi peepz!!!

In case you don't know. I'm back in the Philippines. I am currently working in Ayala. So, open your eyes wide if you see a pretty lady, that's ahem, ahem. Hahaha! Kiddin'.

I am just busy... with new job and other stuff. Catching up with fam and friends... Classmates.

I am mostly in Glorietta. Who knows you can see me at Starbucks. Don't hesitate to greet me just don't shout, "MAIIIIII." Gosh! hahaha :-P

Yay! It's my birthday!!!

2005-12-01T22:32:00.000+08:00

“I have found life an enjoyable, enchanting, active, and sometime terrifying experience, and I've enjoyed it completely. A lament in one ear, maybe, but always a song in the other.”

Yay! It’s my birthday. Started the day with a thank you prayer to the Lord. For the fruitful year that passed and .

First who greet me was my Dad. Thank heavens he’s not dramatic. Hahahaha. Next was my siblings, my nephews and nieces and of course, my baby, Ryan. Though short and he just merely greet me, my heart jumped for joy (hahaha yeah!) the moment I heard his voice.

After my fam, I called and woke up my bestfriend just to hear her greet me. I asked her to greet me maaaaaaaaany times. Hahahaha… Well, she sang for me. My beloved bestfriend. It made my day already. My fam and my bestfriend greet me.

I was about to treat some friends and staffs tonight but I rescheduled it to the last minute coz I have to finish some stuff.

My depression had passed. Now, I’m looking forward to my forthcoming vacation. I’m back in my own self. Trying to play the game of life… flawlessly.

I love you guys!!! Mmmmmmwah!!!

I'm missing the party again.

2005-11-27T18:45:00.000+08:00

Awww! I was told there will be a party today in our compound. Drinking, eating and singing. I'll missed it again. i'm trying to call my sis but she's not answering the phone.

I hope it's the 24th of December already. sigh...

My Youngest Sister's Birthday

2005-11-22T09:10:00.000+08:00

It is Laarni's Birthday today. Our youngest. Feisty as her eldest sis. hehe... Wow! Next year she'll graduate. I'm proud of her. She fulfilled her promise to finish study. And mind you, she's a scholar now and there's already a job waiting for her after graduation.

I love her as much as I love my other siblings. She's a bit hardheaded too.. a little spoiled to me. But she's more conservative than I am. She's my barbie doll. I like to dress her up. I buy her clothes, sexy clothes actually. hahaha!

I wished the best for her. I like to see her successful in her chosen field. I don't know if she knew how much I love her. I think she knows I can't refuse to her if she asked me to buy stuff. haha! My sister thinks she has a bank account in me. :-P I don't mind really! I love to shower her w/ all the things I could provide for her. Same goes w/ the rest of the family. My fam... my inspiration... my treasure.

My Sunday

2005-11-20T22:21:00.000+08:00

Wow! I got to sleep for a long time.Waking up at 7:30, that's long for me now.

Oh well, I went to church and met a Filipina there. I sat beside her during the mass. She's new here. 2 months according to her, assigned in R & D dept. of Unilever. Think I like her. She looks intelligent. Must be, she's from UPLB. I got her number and looks like I have someone to tag along if I want to wander the streets of Bangkok. hehe... By the way, she's 32 but i forgot if she's married or not.

As i've said, I watched Harry Potter. I like it than the previous installments. Cedric looks like a skinny version of Troy Montero, a Filipino model and actor. I think I like him. hahaha! I mean the guy who played Cedric.

I didn't visit the cosmetics section as I planned. Was too lazy and wanted to go home after I've watched the movie.

I just visit MS and email some friends. About to go out now and take a rest.

weekend plans

2005-11-19T10:04:00.000+08:00

Well, i plan to watch Harry Potter with friends this Sunday. Other than that, i think it's time to visit the cosmetics section again... preparation for the forthcoming wedding. Oooops! not my wedding, my cousin's. And I'm a bridesmaid. Well, i forgot being a girl for a long time. hehehe... time to have fun.

uhmmm... still have some problems with work but i'm doing good in motivating my staffs to fight against the bossy employees. hehe... passing my wicked techniques. Joke! I'm just teaching them to fight for what's right. :-D

today... Nov. 18, 2005

2005-11-18T15:20:00.000+08:00

I still miss my previous HR staff but the new one i think is pretty good. Still shy of me though i encouraged her to talk to me more often.

think everything will turn out fine... yeah, i hope so... patience Mai, patience. you've come this far... remember, never surrender.

blabbing

2005-11-17T20:11:00.000+08:00

okay, after months of not creating a post here i am.

just want to let out what i'm feeling right now. first, i missed my hr staff. it was her last day yesterday. i can't hold her anymore. i begged for her to extend til my birthday but sadly she can't. her new company didn't allowed her though she wanted to. she's been good to me since we met. she always attend to my needs eventhough sometimes it was too much. she treated me like a princess. we still have contact but it will not be the same as it is anymore.

second, my assistant was complaining about some employees. i was afraid she might resigned too. i don't want to lose efficient and effective staffs. it's so hard. trying to keep them work in harmony.

third, i talked to my friend. she recently gave birth to a baby boy. wait! oh, i forgot. haha! bad. i'm not sure if boy or girl. anyways, i can sense her happiness, the joy of being a mother. sigh... oh well, i am a mother to my baby, ryan.

uhmmm... i missed my baby again.

that's all for now.

want to share excerpts from the homily today

2005-08-07T18:15:00.000+08:00

Every Sunday I go to church in Bangkok. I usually attend the 11 am mass where a Filipino choir sings. I always get a nice feeling after the mass. It was not boring because of the choir. But I will not talk about the choir, I'll tell you excerpts bout the homily.

The officiating priests was a Thai. But he speaks good english since he had been abroad too.

What I can remember from his homily is that we as Christians should make the sign of the cross with conviction... as if it's coming from our heart. To practice it, we should at least make it a habit to do it after we woke up and before we close our eyes at night.

Another thing he said was that "God's business is us... human beings. Our business is not only God." But we are here to give HIM thanks because there is NO reason not to give HIM thanks. True isn't it?

Also, the priest told us about the boy he met before the mass start. It was the boy's birthday. And he asked for a gift from the Thai priest. He gave him 1 baht and said he can multiply it just like Jesus did in the loaves of bread. The important thing he said was "We can't give what we don't have." Right again!

All in all it's a good mass again. I felt cleanse... again.

~ ~ ~
Hmmm... after that Bangkok solo vacation, It really felt light. Still have problems but it really felt okay. I don't know if I just put meanings to everything that I see right now but... u know... it seems I always get to see roses. And why does pink roses look so appealing to me now. Yes, my favorite color is pink... but not in roses. I only like two colors in roses. Haay! Is there something about the roses?

Btw, I think I'm not a shopaholic anymore. I can pass the cosmetics section w/out something on my hand. Well, I bought something for myself. A black spaghetti blouse and a beige skirt. But that's for the forthcoming assembly for the other company i'm working for. Haha! Dad, good news or bad? Ooops! Dad what did you buy for me in Baguio? You're touring Philippines again ha! You can do it. You're jinx is far from you. Haha!!!

Hmmm... I missed my family again. And I missed my baby, Ryan. There was a little boy at the church about the age of 3 or 4. I remembered the time I always bring Ryan to church. How he fell to sleep during the mass. Ryan was very obedient and quiet at the mass during that age. I carried him when it's time to stand. I sang him gospel songs till he learned to sang it too. Haaay! My baby boy grew up so fast. I'm sure he's so excited to see me. My sister said he's tall and as usual handsome as ever. Part of my itinerary in my forthcoming Christmas vacation will be taking Ryan to the mall. Yay! I'm soooo excited. Family, Ryan, Friends. Cooking, pajama party, Friends' baby. I wish it's December now!

I want more...

2005-08-06T12:43:00.000+08:00

When I was a child, I dreamed to become.... first, as a dentist then a civil or mechanical engineer. Then, it changed to lawyer. As usual, Dad's influences. I was so proud of myself everytime we had visitors then. Because everytime Dad will introduce me, it's always with pride. "Here is my daughter. She's an honor student. She likes to be blah and blah."

As I grew up, as far as I can remember, I also dreamed of becoming a scientist. I think specially during highschool. Biology, Chemistry, Physics and such. Towards the end of highschool, well, a lot of things to be considered. Hmmm... Power suits became appealing. I want to be in the corporate world.

I am already here. I haven't achieve it yet but it's within my grasps. But how come sometimes it feels like I want other things. I want to change career. Sometimes, it also feels like I stopped achieving. Tsk, tsk, tsk. I need to reevaluate myself... again... sigh.

I'll do it in Taglish this time...

2005-08-02T08:30:00.000+08:00

I am really sorry about me blabbing how pissed off I am yesterday. You see, I am really trying to avoid it. Those who really knew me... mabait naman ako. Actually, my friends were the ones pushing me to get angry. Magtaray na raw ako. They tend to be abusive na kasi.

I always fight fairly, legally. But you know, I really have to draw the line. I'm not complacent. I observed them. This time, they should know who to respect to. I'm not an ordinary employee here. They can't bypass me. I demand for what is rightfully due for me.

They can talked behind my back, I don't care. In the end, I'm the one who will emerge as the winner.

I hate to do this but I really need a release. There's other things that are more sensible to focus my attention to. Haay! It's done! Forget it, Mai!

now i'm mad...

2005-08-01T19:47:00.000+08:00

I'm mad about this particular employee of ours... damn! i hate arrogant people!

I am always fair. C'mon, I'm the Manager and i'm not the one who should adjust. My blood really boils. I hate it! I hate it!

Shit!(excuse for the words) They choose! My car or i will not go to work! Damn! I hate to demand!

Sorry peepz... I can't shout, I have to release it. Damn!

Yay! I leashed out some fangs!

2005-07-30T09:49:00.000+08:00

Well, yes i did leashed it this morning. I'm not really mad. I just scared my staffs a bit. Just to let them know that I'm not that lenient... that i'm observing them.

Lolz! My accounting staff was scared I think. She approached me and told me that i don't have to be angry. Hahaha! If she only knew I was laughing inside.

Nyeek! Life's sooo beautiful no!

Ssssh... quiet! No one knows about it. Lol!

happy and content

2005-07-24T17:43:00.000+08:00

hey guys,

how are you? just got back from a 3-day vacation. i checked chinatown in Bangkok yesterday, Saturday. I did not went out at night. I had a headache and my feet felt sore. It's okay.

Know what, I felt sooo relax and I guess... content? It feels like nothing can keep me down. I'm so at peace. I don't know but that's how I really feel right now.

Well, thanks to the One above. I am really giving my life to Him.

Love you friends. Mwah!

stressed

2005-07-07T08:55:00.000+08:00

Ever felt like overly stressed out? That's what I felt yesterday. I felt like surrendering w/ the ton of jobs that I have.

I can still smile. I am really happy coz somebody's making me but yesterday... specially last night I am really tired and I can't help but cry. It's the first time in a long period of time that I felt I don't really wanna go to work. But I can't I have many things to do.

A co-employee said I really looked so stressed. He wanted to ask me to go home but it looked like I don't want to be stop.

I feel fine right now. I wished I don't have work today but well, I am already here.

okay, here's one...

2005-07-05T16:23:00.000+08:00

Remember the co-employee that i'm not talking for months? Well, we are communicating now... professionaly. At least, he's acting professional now.

That's good news to me. Well, he's still a friend. He's just the one acting like a child. I don't care about their personal affairs. As long as they are not bothering me... they could have as many girls as they want and I don't care (actually, i care coz i'm scared of karma. i'm thinking what if i'm their wife... eeeewww!!! *crossed my fingers*).

I don't dwell on their personal affairs. They are old enough to know what is good and bad to them and their families.

Another thing, about the friend who tried to make a pass on me... case resolve. Well, we're like bestfriends now. I made it clear to him and he understood it. Friends only and of course, co-worker. In fact, if i get to be in trouble, he will be the one who will rescue me. So, no need for my cousin to rush here and punch them.

updates

2005-07-04T12:25:00.000+08:00

Hello friends,

I'm sorry I haven't been posting lately. I'm really busy right now and it makes me lazy to create a post.

Just wanna update you... I'm busy but i'm not complaining. It's part of my work. Got to study financial reports to make myself prepared for the director's assembly. Things like this makes me excited. It makes my mind on the go.

Well, right now, though i'm busy i am happy. Happier than ever. Things seem fall into its places. I hope it continues. I am really, really so blessed so I can't complain.

Hope you understand.

I was sick...

2005-06-21T11:12:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I was really sick. I had a terrible headache that I finally decided to go home. Usually, I'll just take some medicine then i'll be better. But yesterday... for some reasons i didn't know, the drug didn't took effect.

I don't usually get sick and it's a good thing coz i want to avoid being one. Specially now that I'm living alone, like yesterday, I cried myself into sleep. I missed my family, missed them taking care of me when I'm sick. I wanted to talk to my cousin Mhinor and cried to him. Unfortunately, he's already asleep. There's no one I like to talk to yesterday, but him. I felt he's the only one who can console me.

Yep, I'm a tough woman but I'm still a child sometimes. And I want playing sweet w/ my cousin. He spoils me most of the time that's why I really, really LOVE him.

Nor, can you hear me? I want to talk to you. I missed you.

Rhetorical Questions...

2005-06-20T10:52:00.000+08:00

I have come with this question:

If you were hit by your boyfriend once during a fight but apologized the next day, saying that it was just an impulse reaction, would you take him back or pack your bags and leave as fast as you can?

The rebel in me? But of course, I will definitely pack my bags and leave him right away. Even though I love him that much and it will definitely torn me to leave him, I won't definitely tolerate him. He did it and there's always the possibility that he will do it again. I won't definitely allow myself to be a battered gf nor a battered wife. I am not raised to be bitten by someone.

But then, some matters have to be considered like maybe I'm the one who pushed him to do that. It all depends.

For now, I'll say definitely yes, I'll leave him. But who knows, I've broken some personal rules. I can never really tell till such time that I'm in that situation. Hope not.

~ ~ ~

Some of our employees were really pissing me off. I really hate heated altercation. I'm having a headache right now and they add-on to the pain i'm feeling. I think I'll get sick. Cannot, i have to work.

I want to be mean!!!

2005-06-17T17:51:00.000+08:00

Why there are people who are so arrogant, disrespectful, pretentious, selfish, etc. etc.? Why not fight fairly?

I'm getting pissed off. I want to be mean. I want to be violent. But it's not my nature. If only I could slap them so that they could stop acting like that.

What? Do they seek attention? Oh my! It's so annoying.

A Song...

2005-06-16T12:26:00.000+08:00

This morning, while I was in the car, my friend's cellphone rang... playing his present ringtone. Oh my! I was surprised by his ringtone. I haven't heard or sing that song for a while. It's one of my favorites. It was a theme song in a Korean drama and has a Tagalog translation.

Well, just want to test if I could still remember the lyrics by heart.

Di ko na kaya

Di ko na kaya pang itago
Ang nararamdaman sa iyo
Umaasang ikaw sana'y mayakap.

Di ko na kaya pang ilihim
Nasasaktan man ako
Sa aking pag-iisa
Hinahanap ka.

Chorus:
Di ko kailangan ng kayamanan
Puso mo ang tangi kong inaasam
Hindi ko kayang ikaw ay malayo
Mawalay ka sa piling ko
Sana ay ikaw ang kapalaran
Sa bawat araw ay aking mahahagkan
Habang ang buhay ko ay narito
Handa kong ibigay sa iyo.

Bridge:
Kay sarap damhin
ang tunay na pagmamahal
Katulad nitong pag-ibig ko sa iyo.

Wow! I still remember the lyrics... hehe... guess have to sing it more often now... hmmm... i'll remember to look for an mp3 copy of it.

Praises

2005-06-08T11:21:00.000+08:00

This past few days, i've been receiving a lot of praises. You're beautiful! You're a cutie! You're wonderful! You're great! and stuff. Don't get me wrong. I like it and i feel special when receiving one. It's flattering... overwhelming. But honestly, I feel shy and sometimes I asked myself what do people perceive of myself? Seems they think I'm Ms. Perfect. That I can never do wrong. It's scary. Even, my siblings, they look up to me and think that I could do it all. Am I leaving that kind of impression?

Actually, most of the time, I feel I know nothing. That's why I indulge myself in surfing the net and reading almost everything. Also, in conversations with others. Because from there I could learn too from their experiences.

I really like doing this things and never mind that I'm dumb pala hehe... Hey, I'm not dumb all the time. You want a fight?

Haha... Whatever! I'm just a risktaker. And i'm not afraid anymore to change. It's the only constant thing in this world. Another, I love quotes and I try to live with it.

I like this one from Oprah...
"You have a gift that only you can give the world - that's the whole reason you're on the planet. Use your precious energy to build a magnificent life that really is attainable. The miracle of your existence calls for celebration everyday."

I also learned not to expect too much so that I won't be disappointed. Don't do unto others what you don't want to do unto you. Avoid comparing yourself to others coz there will always be a greater or lesser one than you. Stay optimistic and most of all, learn to be happy.

5 - 7 years ago, my outlook was not like this. I just evolved to what I am now. As one of my fave quotes say,
I am what I am today
Because of the choices
I made yesterday.

Try to live with my quotes too. I said try, i'm not pushing you. I don't wanna be push too.

My nephew Ryan...

2005-06-05T19:48:00.000+08:00

This morning I was able to talked to him. Finally!!! Oh! My sister Arni made a lot of convincing for him to talk with me over the phone. When asked why didn't he want to talk with me, he said that I should come home for us to talk personally. My sister said my poor nephew just missed me soo much. I feel the same. He's like a son to me. I may adopt him but for sure his parents won't allow that. Hehe...

~ ~ ~

I'm starting to get scared this past few days. One friend begun to show signs that he's interested w/ me and likes to do the deed with me. I'm open w/ them talking about sex and stuff. One time during conversation, he said why not we try to do it. He said it like a joke but hey, you can determine if it has malice. And i'm pretty sure, it has. Another one was when we were in the elevator, he said it might brown-out and we will be stuck in there. I'm... "WHAAAT?" I didn't know where it came. Why will it brown-out when's the weather was perfectly fine? Then, I remembered I told him that i've read in a forum that some's sexual fantasy was doing it in the elevator. My Gosh!!!

He's a friend and a confidante. For a long time, I always keep my distance with them because I'm afraid of things like this to happen. I even refused their offer to move in the same floor with them. I reasoned out that I value my privacy which is partly true.

Well, I made a solution w/ this one and hopefully it will work. Today, while having our lunch I told him a story then I made it clear to him that I don't and will never get myself involve with a married man. That's number one rule. Looks like I made it clear to him. I hope so.

Ramblings today...

2005-05-27T09:07:00.000+08:00

I am really busy right now but I couldn't help but write my thoughts. I came across a thread regarding why men cheat and one man kept on insisting that aren't we women unfair. Women cheat too. And I must admit he had a point there. To attest to that, his personal experience and one post of a lady admitting she cheated her man. Haha!!! I have so many things in my mind I want to put in here but I don't know how to arrange that into writings. If you want to ask me something about this feel free to ask I'll answer back as soon as I find time.

But first, what's the reason of this woman to cheat? She said, to spite him. To make him feel how painful it is to be cheated. Result? The man was traumatized... don't want to go again into a relationship, according to her. My reaction?... Go gurl!!! Yeah, give them their own doze of medicine.

Then.... I paused for a minute and think again... Can I do that? Cheat? hmmm... (Looks up in the ceiling...) Nah!!! What is that in Taglish? "Di kaya ng powers ko." I'm too kind to do that.

Well, I came to accept that "Men are polygamous by nature." Oh, Uh!!! But it doesn't mean I'll tolerate cheating. If I learned that my guy is cheating... hhhmm... as long as I don't see it w/ my own two chinita eyes.

But what if I accidentaly see them? You know? The ironies of life... Hmmm... I will probably give them a look, a deadly look, then walked away. Then, my guy has to talk to me or else, I will force him to.

That was my stand right now...

~ ~ ~

Our personnel collapsed while we were having our morning meeting. I'm concerned with her because she's been nice to me and make sure I'm always comfortable here in Thailand. They said maybe she's pregnant.

When I learned about that I felt happy for her and at the same time envied her. I don't know. I'm suddenly curious about how it is to have a life growing inside of me. Lol!!! I didn't feel that when I learned previously that my friend was pregnant too.

Haha!!! It's just today!!! I still love my situation right now.

My Brother...

2005-05-20T13:18:00.000+08:00

I almost lost my only brother last May 7. He got what we called in Tagalog "bangungot." At first, they didn't told me. But eventually, they told me after a week. Imagine, after a week? I understand my fathers decision not to let me know coz he's thinking I maybe bothered but for me it's better to tell me.

I'm shocked coz I didn't expect that plus my brother is only 23. I told my parents and other siblings that they should monitor what he is eating and don't let him go out a lot.

The thought of losing one of my immediate family is what I'm scared of. I am not yet prepared. My friend said I should be but I really can't, for now. My own death, now at least I can say, somehow I am prepared but my family, not yet. That will surely make me lost. I am thankful to God He still gives us my brother. Now, i'm more appreciative of my life and all the graces that are coming my way.

Torn between a Friend and what is right?

2005-05-12T13:03:00.000+08:00

I recently got a chance to talk to one of my friend/officemate and i have learned from her that a co-employee and a superior who's married is having an affair. My first reaction was of course shocked. The girl is my friend too. Although, i don't know her that much it never occured in my sometimes demented mind that she'll get involve with him. Okay, she got a bad reputation but then I'm not there and I don't really know what happened. And somehow she have issues with herself that i think made her long for love and self-belonginess.

In the eyes of the society it's wrong but I don't know, I got to learn to give reason to everything. There might be something that had happened or they got closed to each other. I'm not saying that it's okay to get involve with a married man. No! It's still is the number no, no to me.

I got to remember someone says "Love as a feeling can never be wrong it's what is followed in the society that sometimes makes it wrong." An illicit love affair... If it's lust only for me it's really wrong but then if there's a feeling involve who's got to blame? The man or the woman?

My sister tried to make me cry...

2005-05-07T13:00:00.000+08:00

I called my family last night, actually, called my sis. I wasn't able to talk to my parents becoz they were already sleeping. My sister len was not in the house. It's only our youngest who's in there. She's drinking and singing w/ her highschool barkada. I was able to talk to some of them.

My sister, during our conversations asked me when will i go home, I said I don't know yet. No schedule. She said didn't I missed them. And I said of course I do missed them. Then she went silent. Then she said cry first. Lol! My sis, she's crazy. I maybe easily touched but in terms of this, I don't cry. I even hate when Dad uses deep Tagalog words when he's texting/talking to me. Nyeeee! He's so serious! I was complaining about it and he was just laughing at me. I missed them and I really wished they were w/ me but then I don't like so much drama. I am enjoying my life right now. It caters to my independency. It makes me more mature and responsible. It makes me learn more about life, about the world.

"Barrio Fiesta"

2005-05-06T19:02:00.000+08:00

It's our Barrio Fiesta today. I haven't missed one but then there's always a first time. And now is it. Whoa! I'm starting to missed all traditional family occassions. Usually before the main day, the whole family was very busy for the preparation. And this was the time I ran for errands. My sister will mandate me what to do. Why? becoz she's more knowledgable in the kitchen than me. I hate that but at the same time enjoyed it. My Dad said they're preparing relyenong bangus. Gosh! I can't remember the last time I ate that dish. When I heard it, I wanna go home at that moment. Oh, I have to nail in my mind that I'll ask them to prepare relyeno when I come home.

It's also expected everytime like this to have a lot of visitors. Wow! There never come a time we ran out of visitors. It's the reason I hate doin' the dishes at this time. It felt endless. But having many visitors meant we have many friends. Specially, my Dad. Oh! We were counting who had the most visitors. I won't won. Coz all my friends were in the city, yes we are living in the city but I meant Manila. I studied in Manila and I worked far from our home not w/in the town. But when I do have visitors, my family was the one who's always checking if they're okay. That's why my friends like to come back to our house, they were well estimated not to mention the delicious food we prepared for them. I remember my friend even requested steamed fish.

In the afternoon, when there's few visitors, my cousins, nieces and nephews gather together and videoke. We always had a good time everytime we do that. Singing and dancing. We were all crazy. Haay!!! Memories flashes back. That's all I can do now... thinking bout the old days.

Later, I'll call them. Almost everyday I called them. And I always try to talk to my favorite nephew Ryan but he always had tantrums when I called. I missed my baby sooo much. I missed him call me "Tita Lek".

Holiday!!!

2005-05-05T09:51:00.000+08:00

It's Coronation day today according to the calendar. Holiday but I'll work for half a day then i'll bring some home. Yesterday's my cousin's birthday. He's so kulit all the time. I accidentally clicked her fiancee profile and I saw the sample bouquet for their wedding. Wow, it's beautiful! Rose colored navy blue combined w/ white rose. It looked good in the picture. Nice motiff for the wedding. I'm so excited for their forthcoming wedding. Hope I could really attend. This early i'm planning what to do on my christmas vacation so that I could really attend their wedding. Hope my plan will materialize (crossed my fingers).

My Dad went to Subic!!!

2005-05-01T19:59:00.000+08:00

I texted my Dad the other day and learned that he's in Subic. I was "Whaaat?" I suddenly missed the place. I've been there, actually live there, for almost two months. The place is more laidback than Manila. And of course, more safe. I've been dreading to comeback to that place to visit my friends and acquaintances there but I don't have the time. I asked my Dad to visit our office there and say hi for me.

Another thing, when my father's out of town, he always buy something for all of us. Be it food, t-shirts bracelets or necklaces. And i missed that. And also when he's out of town, i always asked him to tag me along but then if i asked him it will not pursue. I don't know, i'm a jinx when it comes to my Dad's goin' out of town. That's why i've gone tired of asking him to tag me along.

Oh, and finally! my Dad's admitted that i'm cute and pretty. Haha!!! He's greeting in his emails was like this, "How's my cute/pretty daughter?" My! I was laughing inside myself when I read it. You know, back home, whenever I'm doing my make-up, my Mom's looking at me and can't helped but say, "T, tsk, tsk, tsk... ganda talaga ng anak ko... (My daughter's really pretty!) Oh don't tell me, all mother's like that. She's not like that to all of us. With my father, I had to asked him and he will turned away but smiling. But I never heard him say I'm cute or what. Oh, enough! It's just that I'm missing them. I missed Sunday nights when we were all in the house watching the television.

Speaking of t.v., I finally watched NBA yesterday. Seattle Sonics versus Sacramento Kings. Come to think of it, I haven't watched basketball for almost 10 months. My team was Bulls during Michael Jordan days. Now, nothing in particular... not that updated anymore.

I'm getting irritated...

2005-04-28T19:26:00.000+08:00

Well, i'm getting pissed off by one of our employee. I hate the way he acts. He's very stubborn and act like he's the boss.

He's not under my supervision. I told my friend he needed some slapping to realize that he's doing no good to the company. My gosh! He has a big salary that he doesn't deserve to get. Our President and Vice-president are too kind to them. They are not doing some action. They will just get angry and then forget it. I wonder what will our CEO's reaction if he'll know about this particular employee. Knowing him...

I'm still busy w/ paperworks... but getting it all done one by one. I'm building a website for myself. Putting all my interests. Perhaps, an online collections. Like mp3s, recipes, quotes, etc.

still feels lazy...

2005-04-24T20:45:00.000+08:00

I still feel lazy until now... just checkin' and sending messages to my friends...

I had finished some reports but there's new one to do... besides, our Japanese owner is coming this May 1st... got to prepare reports for the director's assembly... also, have to analyze my reports furthermore so that i'm prepared for the assembly.

Gone to church today and of course, mall again. The shopaholic in me... hehe.. bought bodyshop's bronzer and tea tree concealer... also shue uemura's eyelash curler... i love this one... i like the look of my lashes when i use this...

bought also 2 books, confessions of a shopaholic and shopaholic and sister... hahaha... isn't it obvious i'm a shopaholic? but i'm a shopaholic using my own money...

got a foot massage too... got to grab the chance while waiting for the guys... i even got new hair clips for myself... sssh... silence... if my Mom would know the individual price of it, i couldn't imagine how big can she make her eyes in disbelief...

Feeling Lazy...

2005-04-22T13:01:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling kinda lazy this past few days... i mean lazy in replying and visiting sites... I have lots of things to do... works to prioritize... I'm getting disorganize. Got to stop and think for awhile. Ask myself where I am, what I want. I'm loosing my track... It seems I'm stucked, don't know where.

Thick Face...

2005-04-20T18:37:00.000+08:00

Here's a conversation w/ a co-employee while we were on our way home last night.

Me: I've heard you're going back to the Philippines, when?
Guy: Yeah, next month. You're ignoring me that's why I prefer to go home.
Me: Better go home then (in a sarcastic tone).

The nerve of the guy! As if I'll gonna jump on his bed. Excuse me! He's a married man. Am I not making it clear to him? When I arrived in Thailand he tried to go in my apartment. Hellooo? As in HELLOOO? I did not let him in because it was obvious he's trying to make his way with me. He's lucky I didn't slam the door on his face. I just told him I'm too tired to entertain visitors then.

Then, when I made a joke about my hotel room in Pattaya.. being spacious, he said he should have come. The nerve! I want to slap his face honestly. My eyebrows were raising so high I can't imagine. If I could only kick his ass...

~ ~ ~

I just got back from Bangkok. Finally, my working permit was already fixed. I was bored coz I'm not used to being idle. I'll go home early today, have laundry to attend to.

I am born to love her!

2005-04-19T13:24:00.000+08:00

Damn! When can I say this? Or when can someone say this to me? I hope sooner (sigh...).

This was a headline I saw from someone else's profile. And he's a guy. I sometimes can't get help but envy those girls... I think they're so lucky. I encountered a guy who was lost when their relationship was in the rocks. I admire those guys. And I can't believe there are guys like that. Come on, guys don't like so much dramas in their life. They think it will make them less of a man. I had accepted it that's why guys like I've mentioned earlier surprised me. They still exist? Huh?

I was recently heartbroken. Yeah, I can recover so fast but I admit I still love him. I don't know what went wrong. Did I just presume? Is it only me who thinks there was going on between us? I asked him the reason he didn't bother to reply. I can't get guys anymore. I thought they want no pretenses. What do their really want? The submissive type or the fearless woman nowadays?

Hell, I'm a tough woman. I am very independent and I believe I have a strong character. But then I am very much willing to share my life to somebody else and grow with him. I am very far from being a damsel in distress. I love fairy tales but I don't believe in a knight in shining armor anymore. I could take care of myself but sometimes I just wish there's someone out there to pamper me. Isn't it nice to be sweet sometimes? Special moments with the one you love for me is a thing that money can't buy. It's one of those that i'll forever treasure and will always give me a smile if I look back to.

A friend says I was so intimidating. I said, "If a guy don't know how to approach me then he's not for me." He should have the guts. I don't want a guy who's so lame. I am bold and wild and crazy sometimes. I want someone who could tame my heart. Or so as my friend says, of the same wavelength as we are.

One friend says, post my thoughts or 2 cents on threads like love and relationships. I'm too lazy for that. It's not also my thing. I sometimes want attention but I value my privacy too. And besides, it feels like I'm advertising myself. I'm not that depress no! No offense, but it's just really not my thing.

If he comes, he will come. I may not know he might be just around taking his time. Sooner we will cross paths.

It's my Parent's Anniversary!

2005-04-18T20:14:00.000+08:00

April 18. It's my Nanay and Dad's wedding anniversary. 29 years of being tied in their vows. Ooops, I'm only 27 going 28 on December. I was born a year after their wedding.

My parents marriage is far from being perfect. I won't say more. They might spank me if they get to know I'm telling the world they are not a perfect couple. Their marriage had been in the rocks so many times. Encountered a lot of family problems, you could ordinarily hear to. But we as a family, stood them all.

I would say my Dad has been a good provider, yeah, good, not the best. But he loves as so much, his children and would sacrifice and do everything for us.

My Mom has her share of sacrifices. Went to work abroad to help my dad in giving us a better future, a good education. I am guilty of not being too showy on how I am appreciative of her sacrifices. Mom is so drama kasi. I find it corny sometimes. Nevertheless, I love her too. And no matter what I will be there for the two of them, always.

Usually, when it's their anniversary, me and my siblings buy food for us to eat. We will not inform them, it's a surprise. Sometimes, now that I'm working I give them money to buy. But the two of them sometimes said just save the money or just give me money. Hmmm, parents talaga, specially my mother, so stingy.

Now, I asked them did they prepare something for today. My dad said, none. Save for the fiesta or for my youngest sis tuition. Haay, whatever. I will get back on mother/father's day. I will conspire w/ my right hand, my sister.

Speaking of right-hand, I was their right hand before. Now, I'm the boss. He, he. I sometimes asked my Dad what to do now. Bad daughter. But remember, sometimes not all the time. He is still my father, I'm still scared of him.

Well, my family's relationship w/ each other... I must say getting better. And no matter what storm will come, we could face it standing strong as ever.

A Great Vacation!

2005-04-17T19:11:00.000+08:00

I'm back from a two-day vacation. It's a blast. Though I was not able to swim coz I got headache when we reached the hotel, it was still a memorable one.

The room was spacious and when I entered I somehow felt sad. The bed was so big. The two guys had someone to share it with, I didn't have one (sob).

I'm still a princess to the two eventhough they had their partner. They always checked me if i'm okay and enjoying. I was always, " Don't mind me. I'm okay." Herlan even got my medicine from the front desk and always asked me if I'm hungry. I wasn't able to eat that much coz i felt that I'll just gonna throw it out due to my headache.

I took my medicine, slept and rested for about 2-3 hours. When I woke up I felt better. We dine out. I just ate fruits. We went to a bar. We had a hard time finding a videoke bar. My desire to sing got us to an open bar. There's not much people in front of the stage. They were near the road. I got to sing and stealed the stage for two songs from the first singer. An old man, think in his 50's, went to the stage and grabbed the mic from me. He sang eventhough out of tune. He's singing and dancing.

An old lady there praised me.She said I sang well. I went back to the stage for another song, Top of the World. This time I was more comfortable. It was a nice experience. We stayed a little longer then the guys decided to play billiards. I watched them then I excused myself and headed to Starbucks. I chose to drink and eat on the 2nd floor. The view was nice. I could see the beach under the moonlight and then the people and the busy streets. A friend says, Pattaya was awake at night and sleeping in the morning. True!

On our last day, we went to the park and ate there. It was really a great vacation and I will surely come back there.

What makes an effective Chief Executive?

2005-04-14T18:18:00.000+08:00

I was watching CNN today. News were disappointing. The world is in chaos. Everywhere in the world there are disputes. Hmmp! I wanted to off the T.V. but then I wanted to be updated what was happening outside the four walls of our office.

Then, this caught my attention, "What makes an effective Chief Executive?" Chief executives were in the news this past few days. Change of CEOs for top multinational companies. Controversies. I thought about my current and past bosses. I thought I am lucky coz not every employee can talk or report directly to the CEO.

I look up for my Superior, not only the owner but my previous Managers. I was inspired to climb to the top and be one too. For me, who are worthy to be a Manager/Superior? Those who know how to reach out with their subordinates. But sadly most people when they are on the top they forget where they came from. I don't know. Is there really that attitude. I swear to myself, I won't be one. That's why I maintain a "buddy relationship" with my staff. I see to it that I make them comfortable with me and I'm easy to approach. I want her (coz most of my staff are female) to feel that we are a team.And I am not the bossy type.

People around were wondering how could I tame my staffs' attitude. Funny, I was priveleged to have a staff that has extraordinary attitude. Somehow like me, tough... a fighter. To others, my staffs are weird, hard to reach out, completely opposite of my soft-spoken character according to them. Well, my staffs, if they could look closely, are persons with depth. Efficient and loyal. Intelligent. I can relate to them. They know how a superior-subordinate relationship works.

Also, a superior should know how to respect his/her subordinate. Respect is something you could get if you know how to give it. I don't want to see my employee scared of me. There's a big difference between the two.

Right now, I still have contacts with my previous staffs and they are a friend I know I can rely on.

MySpace

2005-04-13T14:26:00.000+08:00

I don't know what to write. I have so many ideas I want to put in writing but when I'm in front of the monitor I went blank.

Ah! Okay, I know now mySpace. One of my fave site. I am so happy about the friends that I've meet here. How I wish I could visit or meet all of them one day. I have already arrange a meeting w/ some of them and I'm excited to hang-out w/ them. Well, if I could have time and the means to go to their place why not? I got to travel and then meet a friend.

One more thing that I like in mySpace is the Html codes. I'm amuse w/ some of the layouts and design of the page of other members. My current page is my 2nd design. I'm planning to change the whole layout.

~ ~ ~
Oh, my trip to the beach was almost cancelled. But I warned my friend, " You cannot cancel that I have bought my stuffs." Hehe... I won. I did some general cleaning this morning then evening, foot spa and my night ritual. Tomorrow, my hair. My weakness. I found some self-satisfaction in indulging myself to spa and beauty stuff. Not to catch a guy. Hell, no! I would always stay beautiful w/ or w/out a guy.

In the Company of 12 Men

2005-04-12T13:14:00.000+08:00

When I was told I'm going to work in Thailand, I did not worry at all. Why? Coz it's like living in the Philippines and there are Filipino men working in our companies there. I think my parents were more worried than myself. Men, I could handle them eventhough I don't know all of them and I haven't seen some of them yet. I was not a teenager anymore who was aloof w/ boys. Ruel, my classmate in highschool, opened my eyes in terms of dealing with boys. Looking back then, it's a right decision. Boys are fun to be with.

Going back to my men. Their age range from 27 -40 and i can say i'm doing pretty good and mature enough w/ my relationships towards them. Ha! Some tried to get a pass w/ me. No way! My gosh! They are all married. I'm not yet insane. What did I do for those who tried? Well, I just leashed my sarcastic tongue and told them impliedly (through joke)that it's a no, no to me. Heck, my father will kill me. I don't let them come in my room. I select guys that I allow to enter my apartment. They are the guys that I'm more comfortable to be with.

Others don't speak coz they think I'm a snob. He,he. I am, sometimes but I already solve that now they are more comfortable with me and they know how to approach me.

What about the others? My favorites... ha, ha.. they are like my elder brothers... I am like a princess to them and I admit they give me special treatment and I like that. But I'm not abusive and it's not me if I can do it I'll do it. I would only seek their help if I really can't. It's nice to be w/ them. They sometimes cracked jokes w/ me and vice versa. Most of the time they teased me but I can tolerate them. I'm more comfortable w/ them now than ever.

This friday, i'll go to the beach w/ the two of them. I was advised to bring a partner of my own. Nyee! I said I don't need that I could enjoy going to the beach. Perhaps, I could find my partner there... hehe...

first real entry? bitching?

2005-04-11T18:18:00.000+08:00

well, my plan was one entry per day but then I felt the urge to shout becoz someone pissed me off. The nerve of the guy! Why can't he separate work from personal matters? Grrrr... as in grrr... What a childish act! I'm living my life as if he's not existing but then he continues to annoy me. What does he want? I'm giving him space becoz i'm still considering his feelings but then it seems he wants war. Maybe, I should consider the game he wants us to play. I'll give him his own dose of medicine.

making improvements...

2005-04-11T08:47:00.000+08:00

I'm still thinking of how to organize the ideas i have in my mind to come out with what I want... Maybe in a few days. I'm still busy with work. Have to finish reports before I go on vacation this Wednesday.

in process

2005-04-08T15:47:00.000+08:00

I can't really wait to get my hand at this new found hobby of mine. As of the moment, layout design is not yet finish. I seek the help of a very generous friend. I'm thinking of how can I repay her. Ha, ha, ha... It's very obvious I really want to talk. Well, this is all about me and nobody can contest my feelings and what I'm thinking. This is my world.